The Basics

The basics come first. These are some fairly critical essentials that we need to get out of the way. Many of these things matter not because I'm shallow, but because they're traits I'd like to see in my kids.

1. Gender

• Male
• Female
• Both
• Neither

2. Age

• 0-18
• 18-25
• 25-30
• 30-35
• 35+

3. Height

• under 4'
• 4' - 4'5"
• 4'6" - 4'11"
• 5'0" - 5'5"
• 5'6" - 5'11"
• 6'0" or over
• You stupid Americans and your feet and pounds!

4. Weight

• 0-89 lbs
• 90-119 lbs
• 120-139 lbs
• 140-159 lbs
• 160 lbs+
• Keelograms! Keelograms! Ees eet so hard?

5. Build

• Skin and Bones
• Thin but toned
• Athletic
• Average, soft
• A little plush
• A lot plush
• Pretty fat...

6. Hair color

• Black
• Natural blonde
• Fake blonde
• Platinum
• Average brown
• Red
• Purple
• I have no hair
• I have no hair anywhere
• Other

7. Hair style

• I still have no hair
• Buzz-cut
• Short and pixie-ish
• Short and cute
• Average
• Long and straight
• Long and curly
• I am Gretchen Mol

8. Eye color

• Green
• Gray
• Blue
• Brown
• Red
• White
• Varies
• I have no eyes

9. Eye style

• I wear contacts because I need them
• I wear contacts for the color
• I wear glasses
• My eyes are fine
• I have no eyes
• I am Jessica Alba

10. How would you rate your own looks?

• Genetically challenged
• A bit homely
• Pretty plain
• Average
• I get no complaints
• I'm rarely alone
• I AM THE HOTTEST THING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN

11. What's your personality like?

• I'm pretty quiet and shy.
• I'm usually quiet but once you get to know me I really open up.
• I'm about average for a brainy person.
• I'm about average for a non-brainy person.
• I like to talk and am pretty outgoing.
• I am usually the life of the party.
• You will love me. I guarantee it.

12. Dating Status

• Single and not looking. Ever.
• Single and looking. For you. (Awww yea.)
• I'm sorta seeing somebody, but always on the lookout...
• I'm happily dating somebody, thanks.
• I'm married, but I'm up for a fling.
• Happily married, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

13. Do you have an accent or otherwise unusual/exotic voice?

• Yes
• No
• Specifically, I have a British/Irish/Scottish accent
• I have an Australian accent
• I have southern US accent.
• Werd up, g-dog! Slap mah 'fro!

Health

A person I date must be healthy. I want them to be able to challenge me both mentally *and* physically. In addition, good health is good when the time comes to have and raise children.

14. Do you smoke?

• Yep and I love it
• Yes, but I'm trying to quit
• Nope, but I'm thinking of starting
• Ew. Gods, no.

15. Do you pick your nose?

• Of course I do. What, is that bad?
• Only when no one's looking.
• Gross!

16. Do you pick your scabs?

• I can't help it!!
• Nope. Best to let 'em heal on their own.
• What kind of sick questions are these, anyways?

17. Are you in shape?

• No, but I watch some that are on TV
• I walk to and from classes/work every day.
• Every other weekend I play some volleyball or something with friends.
• I exercise somewhat regularly
• I exercise or play sports all the time
• I go to the gym most every day.
• I suffer from healthnuttius liveatthegymmus.

18. Do you eat ice cream?

• No, sorry, my diet prevents me from eating those kinds of foods.
• No, I don't like ice cream.
• I enjoy a good bowl occasionally.
• I like to have some every day if I can.
• Oooohhhh what do you think I'm sitting in?

19. What is your core body temperature?

• I need clothes and/or blankets at all times
• I can walk around home wearing little and be comfortable
• You will never have a cold night under the sheets with me.

Entertainment

I'm a firm believer that a mate should be a complement, not a supplement. But even so, I'd prefer if we were compatible as far as what we consider a "Good Time".

20. How often do you go out (leave your room/do things with friends)?

• I leave my bedroom for the living room every day or two.
• I only leave when I have to (classes/work).
• I try to do something with friends every other week.
• I go out with the gang regularly.
• EVERY NIGHT BABY, YEAH!

21. What type of music do you prefer to listen to?

• I am deaf, so I don't enjoy a lot of music.
• Pop
• R&B
• Country
• Classical
• A healthy mix of the above
• So long as it's not rap...
• Rap
• Anything at all
• Other ("weird stuff")

22. How often do you drink?

• I'm not old enough to drink.
• I don't drink alcohol.
• I drink lightly every once in a great while
• I drink a little at big parties
• I drink moderately depending on my mood
• Alcohol? Where? I'M THERE, MAN!
• I AM NOT AHN ALCHOLOHOC.. I'M NNOT DRUKNK!

23. Do you use psychotropic drugs?

• No, and I detest others that do.
• Nope, but it doesn't bother me much when others do.
• Yah, every once in a while
• I use drugs regularly.
• I've used the phrase "Dave's not here, man!" on one of my albums.

24. Do you dance?

• Yes, I go clubbing regularly (any type).
• I visit only certain clubs regularly.
• I go dancing once in a while, and I like it.
• I don't get to go very much, but I love dancing.
• I can't dance, but I wouldn't mind learning.
• Dancing is the worship of SATAN!

Sex

Eventually, sex will come into play. When isn't important, but if we get some things out of the way early on, there will be no unpleasant surprises or awkwardness later.

25. What is your sexual preference?

• MEN AND MEN ONLY.
• I tend to prefer men.
• I prefer men, but would be receptive to sharing him with a woman.
• I prefer men, and the more the merrier.
• I tend to prefer women, but wouldn't mind sharing her with a guy.
• I like women, women, and more women.
• Guys are G.R.O.S.S. gross!

26. With how many different people?

• I never have a repeat.
• Quite a lot
• Most all of the people I've dated
• A few, the special ones
• Just one
• I'm saving myself for marriage.
• I tell everyone I'm saving myself for marriage because I'm too embarrased to admit I can't get any.
• I'm saving myself for The One.

27. How often do you enjoy it?

• Oh, I always enjoy it. It's pretty hard to fuck that up.
• I mostly enjoy it.
• I just enjoy being with my partner.
• I tell everyone I just enjoy being with my partner because I feel too bad saying he/she is bad in bed.
• I don't really enjoy it very much. I'm considering switching teams.
• I'm still a virgin, thanks.

28. Do you look at Internet porn?

• Yep, but only the women.
• Hell yah, both guys and girls
• I sneak a peek of some of the Internet guys.
• Every once in a while
• I prefer videotapes and/or magazines.
• Eww.
• You can get porn on the Internet?

29. What is the first word that comes to mind when I say, "Papasan"?

• Sex

Relationships

If we're going to have a relationship, it might help if your track record were factored into your score here. I need to be sure that I'm looking for something that I think you will be able to provide.

30. How many romantic relationships have you had?

• None. I don't get out a lot.
• A few. I'm pretty picky.
• I tell everyone I'm pretty picky 'cause I'm too embarrased to admit I can't find anybody
• A fair amount. 10? 20?
• Quite a lot.
• Let me see that yearbook over there. Shall we go chronologically or alphabetically?

31. How seriously do you (or would you) treat your relationships?

• Blah. They're just friends with benefits.
• Somewhat seriously.
• I look at my partner as my potential husband/wife.
• Too seriously.

32. How faithful do you (or would you) tend to be?

• Umm.. Not.
• If my partner doesn't seem interested in me, I'll find someone who is.
• I don't LOOK to cheat, but I've fallen victim to someone else's charms before.
• I don't cheat, but it doesn't hurt to flirt, eh?
• Even LOOKING at another member of my partner's gender is something I would never do. I am 100% faithful.

Intelligence/Current Events

The woman I date needs to have a head on her shoulders. Sure, looks can go a long way, but it's the brain that counts. I also would like to have children with some semblence of intelligence and common sense.

33. What is your current education level?

• I'm still in high school.
• I dropped out of high school.
• I have my high school diploma.
• I'm in college now.
• I dropped out of college.
• I'm through with college.
• I'm a college professor

34. What is your primary source of current events?

• Stewart
• Letterman
• Leno
• CNN.com/ABCNews.com/STLToday.com/etc
• Slashdot
• Digg, etc.
• Whatever they say between songs on the radio
• Whatever they say between shows on TV
• I watch the news/read the newspaper.
• I pay attention only when we're at war
• We're at war??!!

35. Describe your smarts.

• A's in my classes and tend to stick with the intellectual stuff
• I got good grades, and I know how to use what I've learned.
• Grades? Hah. I can mix 58 different types of drinks.
• What I've learned in real life is all that matters.
• I already knows all I's needin' to know.

Computers and Internet

I use computers and the Internet for a living and a bit for entertainment. Whether you're a computer person or not isn't necessarily a good or a bad thing. I need to be sure that the woman I date is comfortable with computers but isn't too strongly attached or afraid of them.

36. How long have you been using the Internet

• Less than a month
• Less than a year
• Less than 5 years
• Since its conception
• Since my conception
• What's an Internet?
• You mean AOL, right?

37. How much do you use the Internet

• I don't. This isn't even my computer.
• Only when I need to do real research (well, and your date application)
• Once a week or so I hop on
• I use the 'Net pretty regularly, but I don't let it run my life
• I use it a lot more than I should.
• I'm an ADDICT. I can't function without it.

38. What is a BOFH?

• Bastard Operator From Hell
• Big Old Fat Hacker
• Bitch On Fone Hold
• Broken Out Firewall Hole
• I have NO idea
• I don't know, but I'll be yours.

39. How many TCP port numbers are available for use?

• 1
• 15
• 16
• 1000
• 1023
• 1024
• 64000
• 65535
• 65536

This Application

The application you just filled out was mostly for entertainment purposes, but occasionally I'll send a cutie over here to fill things out and give me an idea how they fit in my grand scheme of things. A sense of humor is a must, and based upon what you say below, will factor into your score a great deal.

40. How truthfully did you answer these questions?

• 100% truthful
• Essentially truthful
• I used the anonymous nature of the Internet to my FULL advantage while filling this form out. I doubt you'd ever recognize me.
• I had fun with it :)
• I deliberately lied on a few.
• None of it is truthful, unless it was by accident.

41. How seriously did you take this application?

• Pretty seriously. I want a date, dammit.
• Not seriously, but I'm still pretty curious to see how I did.
• It was just for entertainment, right? Good.
• It was kinda stupid, actually.
• Damn you have no life. Get a life, loser!

42. What brought you here?

• Umm, you sent me.
• Someone besides you gave me the URL
• Just surfing the web and came to yours
• I don't know, the page was here when I sat down

Submit your application

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